The 12 Days Of Climate Doomster Christmas

A light-hearted look at what the climate doomsters have imposed upon us

It’s nearly Christmas, so I thought it would be a good idea to take a light-hearted look at what the climate doomsters have imposed upon us in the form of a song. To the tune of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

The words are below, then a section that covers each story.

On the first day of Christmas
My doomster sent to me
A windmill on fire in the sea

On the second day of Christmas
My doomster sent to me
Two ULEZ zones
And a windmill on fire in the sea

On the third day of Christmas
My doomster sent to me
Three Black-Outs
Two ULEZ Zones
And a windmill on fire in the sea
….
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My doomster sent to me
Twelve panels breaking
Eleven EVs burning
Ten lords a-troughing
Nine nutters dancing
Eight grifters grifting
Seven whales not swimming
Six runways boiling
Five blocked roads
Four trashed paintings
Three black-outs
Two ULEZ zones
And a windmill on fire in the sea

A Windmill on Fire in the Sea

It’s true, an offshore wind turbine did burst into flames in the North Sea.

Two ULEZ Zones

There has been much controversy about the London Ultra-Low Emissions Zone (ULEZ) and similar Low-Traffic Neighbourhoods (LTN) in places like Oxford and Bath. This has led to the rise of “Bladerunners” who have made it their mission to destroy the enforcement cameras.

Three Black-Outs

This one is not strictly true for the UK. But we have seen blackouts in South Australia, with its over-reliance on renewables. But we have had warnings from the UK system operator (and some US operators) that during cold periods when demand is high and the wind is not blowing much, we could see restrictions on energy use. Some people are already being paid to use less electricity at peak times.

Four Trashed Paintings

Of course we have seen an endless stream of Just Stop Oil protesters causing damage to paintings and buildings in the name of saving the environment.

Five Blocked Roads

Of course, they have not stopped at paintings. For weeks they were allowed to stop the traffic and block roads with impunity, sometimes delaying ambulances and causing accidents and injury.

Six Runways Boiling

Of course, we had Secretary General of the UN saying: “The era of global warming has ended. The era of global boiling has arrived.” The trouble is, many of these “records” seem to be broken at weather stations placed near airport runways, like this one at Malaga.

Seven Whales Not Swimming

This year has also seen whales washed up on the beaches off the UK coast and the Atlantic coast of America. Many think this is the result of the work on offshore wind farms disturbing their behaviour.

Eight Grifters Grifting

There’s plenty of grift in the climate movement. Ben Pile and the Together Declaration found that a cabal of billionaires is behind much of the green activism and C40 cities.  They also exposed the fake science behind the ULEZ expansion and the pressure put on scientists from Imperial College to alter the findings of their study that showed ULEZ made no difference to children’s health.

Nine Nutters Dancing

Of course, no climate protest is complete without the surreal performative art of our favourite nutters dressed in red costumes like something from the Spanish Inquisition.

Ten Lords a-Troughing

It’s not just former chair of the Climate Change Committee Lord Deben who has been caught with his snout in the Net Zero trough. The Telegraph reported that Deben’s Sancroft International posted an online job advertisement for a sustainability/ESG analyst that listed a clean energy company as a client. Lord Barwell was criticised for not properly declaring his interests in companies with interests in the green transition. And famously, although not a Lord, Chris Skidmore MP produced the review into net zero shortly before accepting an £80,000/yr job with an emissions capture company.

Eleven EVs Burning

Although we do not know the full story about what started the fire at Luton Airport car park, it is almost certain that the presence of EVs in the car park made the fire worse. However, there are plenty of other examples of EVs bursting into flames.

Twelve Panels Breaking

Sadly, the solar panels that are supposed to protect us from global warming do not seem to be very resilient to the extreme weather events they are meant to prevent.

Merry Christmas everyone. Next article will be on New Year’s Eve, looking at what COP and some UN agencies have in store for our food.

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